I hope…

to savor the events of 2012 rather than just marking them off like another item on my task list.

to work on being a better friend. I’ve been so wrapped up in work and adjusting to my new surroundings that I’m not maintaining my friendships well.  

to make some serious career decisions. My fifth-year anniversary of corporate servitude was celebrated in December and that milestone is weighing heavily on my mind. I began working where I do because I wanted to do something that was related to what I loved…writing, literature, and education. What I quickly found was that while my position might seem related at first glance, most of my daily duties have more to do with project management and taking care of budgets and invoices. The eighteen year-old version of myself is screaming, “How the f*&% did this happen?”

to work toward being greener and healthier. These two things have fallen by the wayside since we moved to the ‘burbs.

to plan and more importantly celebrate a meaningful, beautiful, and fun wedding. We’re well on our way with that one…

Now, I just need to execute on these items! Cheers to 2012!

To say the least, I was ill-prepared for my first business trip, but after standing on concrete for ten hours and being nice to hundreds of strangers on my first day out of the office, I felt like I’d been punched in the face. I realized that while the flight, hotel, and meals were paid for by the company, I still had to EARN that shit.

My next thought was, “Traveling for work blows.” I maintain that thought to this day; however, over the past five years I’ve built-in eight general rules to help with my survival.

1. Bring an arsenal of toiletries, extra underwear, breath mints, chapstick, and travel/hotel itineraries in your carry-on. If at all possible, don’t check a bag at all.

2. Keep caffeine to a minimum on your travel days. Being jittery on a plane is not fun and coffee will dry out your skin like mad. No alcohol either. This is not spring break 2003.

3. For the love of god, do not touch your eyes when you’re traveling or while you’re glad-handing in a conference center. You have no idea what might be on your fingertips after you just shook that sketchy guy’s hand. Next thing you know you’ll be in a San Diego ER with a dilated pupil and a bloody nose due to possible “drug residue”.

4. Related rule, wash your hands…a lot.

5. Wear comfortable slip-on shoes at the airport and never wear heels because you will have to run to a gate at some point. Also, high heels are so incredibly dumb (just ask any podiatrist).

6. Three words: TWO DRINK MINIMUM. Just because someone gives you a fistful of free drink tickets does not mean you need to use all of them before dinner. You will get hammered and fall.

7. Take a moment to gather yourself if needed. When faced with a daunting task or an onslaught of potential customers to woo, it’s okay to step back and take a quick break to refresh.

8. Airborne. Take it.

Over the past 30 years, I’ve witnessed events that range from bizarre (anyone want to know how our barn started on fire?) to violent and most of those events have had my mother at the center. Furthermore, these events were something I was told never EVER to talk about. Growing up in a tiny microcosm allowed for gossip to fly across town at the speed of sound itself. 

In that afternoon’s counseling session, much to my surprise, her public persona fell away and her true behavior revealed itself. Years of anxiety, depression, and paranoia filled the dimly lit office. As she spoke, I wondered why I hadn’t done this earlier and why mental illness has to have such a stigma. 

To me, this was a victory, though not in an epic sense.

Instead, it was simply a turn in the right direction and hopefully, I’ll have a mom again someday.

We’re already trying to do this thing our way without worrying about the annoying “should’s” that the Wedding Industry projects upon young couples.

Think small Autumn Iowa wedding with wonderful food, drinks, and maybe a little Elaine dancing from the bride.

1. White is for Witching – Helen Oyeyemi (CW highly recommended this one)-

Note from 2011 me: I’m sorry CW.

2. Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen (This book has been sitting in my bookshelf for most of my adult life. 2010 will be the year I read it.)

Note from 2011 me: Jane Austin is BOOOOOOOORING. I would’ve been happier if the heroines ditched the guys all together and started their own radical ladies-only commune.

3. Hard Times: An Oral History of the Great Depression - Studs Terkel (I borrowed this one from my economist friend about a year ago. I’m guessing she wants it back.)

Note from 2011 me: I finished this one, but I also I spilled soup all over it. CE never got her book back. However, I did buy her a new copy because I’m not an animal.

4. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn – Mark Twain (I’m not sure how I escaped middle school without reading this one.)

Note from 2011 me: Well, shit. Didn’t read it.

5. The Blind Assassin – Margaret Atwood (A favorite book of one of my Denver Publishing Institute friends. My other DPI friend loathes it. I must enter the conversation) 

Note from 2011 me: What the f&$@ is wrong with this novel? I made it through the first few chapters and I just couldn’t engage with it.

6. The Art of Mexican Cooking – Diana Kennedy (Yes, I read cookbooks. After hearing an interview with Kennedy on “The Splendid Table”, I can’t wait to read her cookbook!)

Note from 2011 me: Thanks to McFad’s grandpa, I now own this book. The recipes are complicated as hell and look delicious. I have yet to make anything from it, mostly because I don’t have a lot of ham hocks and corn husks sitting around.

7. Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie (Again, I’ve been putting off this one off for years)

Note from 2011 me: Still putting this one off.

8. Great Expectations – Charles Dickens (Ditto)

Note from 2011 me: Still ditto.

9. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – J.K. Rowling (This one has been on my list since I was schooled by the English Department Chair’s children a few years ago. Afterwards, they asked me “Are you really smart enough to finish your master’s degree?” Thanks, boys. I’ll read this, but I will never be able to answer your math story problem flashcards. NEVER.)

Note from 2011 me: I’m pretty proud of this one! I’ve read the whole series and seen the entire movie series (last two in IMAX-3D…woot woot!).

10. Ulysses – James Joyce (I won’t lie. I’m still intimidated by Joyce. I’ve read parts of this, but never all the way through)

Note from 2011 me: Made it to page 3 and yelled, “What do you have to prove, Joyce?!”

11. Let the Great World Spin – Colum McCann (Amazon e-mails me this book as suggested reading CONSTANTLY.)

Note from 2011 me: Amazon no longer recommends this; therefore, I refuse to read it.

12. My Last Supper: 50 Great Chefs and Their Final Meals – Melanie Dunea (Features an almost-naked Anthony Bourdain. This makes it a must read for me)

Note from 2011 me: Hell. Yes. I read this and loved the photos.

 13. War Dances – Sherman Alexie (He can be a little preachy, but I still love his writing)

Note from 2011 me: Sorry, Shermie, I haven’t read you yet.

14. Lights on a Ground of Darkness – Ted Kooser (Kooser’s work appeals to my midwestern-growing-up-in-a-shack-in-the-middle-of-nowhere-on-the-prairie roots. I read everything he writes)

Note from 2011 me: Absolutely beautiful!

On a slightly different note, check out the Downers Grove foliage. It doesn’t hold a candle to Dubuque’s colors, but it’ll do for now.

Sidewalks aren't meant for walking around here.

Soon we will be celebrating one year in the Chicago suburbs. When I moved here, I was really hoping that I would grow to like the area. Though that hasn’t quite happened, I am learning that I need to be more proactive and take my destiny by the balls…or the ovaries…depending on one’s perspective.

I hope to change my surroundings soon, but McFad and I are still going strong, still having fun, and still learning. We just really miss our Dubuque friends!

That pretty much blows.

At least I had plenty to do this summer. I managed to teach a course; work myself silly; travel to St. Louis, Boston, Spearfish, Michigan with the DPI ladies; and plant a garden. The course went well, but the garden only yielded giant zucchinis, a couple tomatoes, and a shitload of weeds. McFad and I are so ashamed of the garden plot that we’re planning on visiting it in the cover of nightfall next time. It’s been about a month since the last time we checked it out, so I am sure our neighbors aren’t exactly pleased with us.

And this brings me to the title of this post. I stepped on the scale for the first time since April today, and lo and behold, I am back to 163 pounds. This is a familiar weight for me. Whenever I stop exercising regularly and start eating want I want, this is where my body wants to hover. My stout broad-shouldered German/Polish genes have kicked in as the extra pudge has gathered around my upper arms, belly, and thighs. Early in my twenties, I would have freaked out at this news. Now, I kind of shrug and understand that I have accomplished a helluva lot this summer and a little weight gain isn’t the worst thing in the world. I will eat a little better, exercise more, and enjoy my favorite season of the year. It’s all good.

Sitting at a wedding reception at a typical white cloaked round table during the wedding reception of my DPI friend, I said something that really didn’t appeal to my audience…

The ladies were talking about the different rituals they did and did not have at their weddings when one of them said,

I always thought it was weird that people eat after the wedding.

To which I replied,

But, aren’t all wedding rituals weird when you really think about them?

With that remark, I silenced the table for a moment and all the married couples avoided eye contact with me.

I shut up and went back to poking at my dinner.

McFad mumbled, I was hoping you weren’t going to go any further with that. This is the wrong crowd…

Some might say that I’m free spirited, some might say I’m stubborn, but mostly I’m just a little skeptical about anything that is considered a social norm. Just ask my mother, who is still trying to persuade me to be a good Catholic. To her horror, I was once a first grader who declared that Santa, the Easter Bunny, and Jesus were frauds. It’s been a battle ever since.

I digress.

Don’t get me wrong, I think marriage can be a beautiful thing. I’m cool with the idea of two people committing to each other for a lifetime in front of the people they love. What I have a difficult time understanding is why there is so much importance placed on things like the ring, the dress, the cake, the fluffy decorations, the gifts, and the massive guest lists.

I think I would be perfectly happy in a dress from the thrift store, delicious food, a cake I made myself, some homegrown music, and a small group of the people we love.

McFad did wonderful work on researching the places. And, he even indulged me when I insisted on taking the El instead of a cab (this meant walking through torrents of cold rain and wind). Go Public Transport!

That's the "Cookie Monster" cupcake at Molly's in Lincoln Park. It has a cookie dough core. Oh, and I'm on a swing.

Am I wiser at 29 than I was at 21? I certainly hope so! I think I’m getting better about spending time with people who are positive and upbeat versus the melancholic brooding people I used to befriend (and date). Thankfully, I no longer mistake blatant cynicism for intellectualism.

Though, don’t get me wrong, I always appreciate a good sarcastic zinger.