AW: I heard that someone’s been pooping on the floor of the 3rd floor women’s restroom.
Me: What’s that?
AW: Someone’s been pooping on the floor.
Me: What the hell? Who would do something like that?
AW: Someone who wants attention.
FS: Did you hear about the 13 stolen lunches in the building?
AW: No. What?
FS: Someone’s been stealing lunches during the day and not frozen meals, actual lunches.
Me: Do you suppose it’s the same person? Maybe they’re eating the lunches and then expelling those same lunches all over the floor just to spite us all.
TM (who’s been quietly driving): Is this real?
AW: Just ask the cleaning lady. She’ll tell you how real it is.
TM: We’ve obviously got a psychopath in the building.
FS: Ugh. Can we change the subject?
TM: Extra hot fudge for me!