This conversation occurred after I took a couple of colleagues (Represented by C and G) out to lunch at Asian Gourmet in Dubuque. Neither of them had any cash on them, so I had to pay. Also, I received a parking ticket.
Tuesday, 2:43 pm
From C to Me:
I have your money here today! Cash, straight up! I have a $20.00 bill so you can either have it all or if you can break it. Let me know where you want to make the transaction.
Wednesday, 8:48 am
To C from Me:
Sorry I missed you yesterday. I was out sick…too much fun at the wedding I guess.
I have $10.00, so I can give you change. Come on up whenever you’re ready! I’m on the 4th floor.
In lieu of me never ever having cash on me, I will try to remember for tomorrow. But I am going to pay in 1’s and make it rain when I give you the money.
Way to get too hammered at the wedding and not come to work.
I wasn’t way too hammered. I was way too awesome!
I also have that problem….being way too awesome.
And let me tell you, Jack Daniels made me so awesome on Friday night that I don’t remember half of it, which includes C showing up at my house. I barely remember that
I found money on the street curb, but spent it on a Wonka Bar. My apologies. I do however have money from my paper route that I can bring up to you sometime today. I’m glad to hear you were too sick to come into work yesterday…Oh Labor Day Weekend!
G– I never showed up at your house? You must have been dreaming…Just kidding, I pretty much dominated in Uno!
C – Eat an Apple a day will keep you away from H1N1
I had money for you but C beat me up on the street for it. And Wonka bar to him means hookers
C— You need more than an apple. Also I thought you got fired from your paper route for eating the ads because they had pictures of food on them
G—- Note to self, staying out late at night and getting little sleep makes for long days
G—Long days of being awesome!
C— DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE OF H1N1?!?! I ASSUME YOU DO SINCE YOU DIDN’T SUGGEST THAT I EAT AN APPLE! Wonka Bars? A Paper Route? Hookers? UNO Domination? I don’t know what kind of twisted world you’re living in, but it’s time to get some help! Also, bring up my $10.00 or I’ll send down my editor mafia. Yes, it does exist. We’re the puppet masters of this organization.
To me—Note to self, staying up until 4:00 am being awesome is not a great career move.
Geesh, no need to get so sensitive. I was just kidding, C.
C curled up into a ball after figuring out that he actually does have the H1N1 virus.
I was actually hiding out from the mafia….are they coming down for a hit? Please don’t.
I actually forgot my wallet in my car, so how about this RCD, I’ll grab my wallet after work and bring you the money tomorrow. Unless you are working out today then I can bring it to you then. Otherwise if you can wait a day, that would be 1000% likely to happen. Also, I know you just cleaned your car, but I dumped my leaves in it…sorry.
I wouldn’t joke about the H1N1 virus G, because I actually don’t have it. Neither does anyone else in the US or world. It’s a figure of your imagination. When I count to 3, you will wake up and start dancing on your keyboard….1….2…..4….5…3!!!!
To your manager – Sha-zam!
To G – KaZaam! (Shaq)
To Me- Aqua Teen
To Dell – Larger Screen! (monitor)