Mystery Date #1 Unveiled

After one of my previous posts, dear reader, you may have gleaned that I have been dabbling in the online dating scene.  I’m not sure if it was the waxing full moon, boredom, or just sheer curiousity that inclined me to create a profile on one of the online dating sites, but ever since, I either wince or laugh hysterically (sometimes a bit of both) every time I open my e-mail inbox. It helps that I started this with low expectations; I was just doing it for fun. What I wasn’t expecting is the barrage of attention I’ve received from men old enough to be my father and the earnest “wink” flirtations as well as cryptic e-mails that just say “Wanna talk?”. No.

The first guy who e-mailed me was one who caught my more positive attention. His profile seemed normal and his e-mails were interesting enough.

Then, last night, I met him.

Here’s how the conversation went (just as we were about to eat):

Mystery Date: I was in India for work.

Me: Really, interesting, how was that experience?

Mystery Date: I got food poisoning.

Me: Oh.

Mystery Date: I never knew food could go through you that fast. It was just like I ate (makes eating gesture) and then it flew right out.

Me (trying to remain composed while keeping visualization of this stranger’s excrement out of mind): So, other than that, what was it like?

Mystery Date: It was hot.

Long pause…

Mystery Date: I don’t really like to try new things.

I’ll spare you the rest since the conversation became much, much more painful.

Needless to say, this was not exactly a love connection and I’ll probably think twice before I go on another blindish date.  However, though I wanted to down a bottle of Mezcal and curl into the fetal position shortly after the date, I also felt oddly content with my interesting little life in Dubuque. It’s reassuring to know that I can try something new and take a few worthwhile risks even if it means having the most awkward date to date!


About Restless Cube Dweller

Most of my adult life has been defined finding homes in unconventional places, and learning to interact positively with others. I've lived in the middle of nowhere, in small cities, in large cities, in the suburbs, and now in Dubuque, Iowa. This blog represents my musings about growing up, moving on, finding love, and eating well in the suburbs and beyond.
This entry was posted in Dating in Dubuque, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Mystery Date #1 Unveiled

  1. nobody's starling says:

    was this cute library guy?

    • Restless Cube Dweller says:

      Unfortunately, no. Cute library guy has stopped e-mailing me. I’ve been rejected. Sad.

      Instead, I went out with the guy who has zero personality. Yay me!

      At least I have George the Plant.

  2. Russ says:

    I know a guy who went to India who said about the same exact thing.

    …when he told me we were not on a date, by the way. (I felt compelled to add this important detail).

    • Restless Cube Dweller says:

      I always figured the “no poop-talk on the first date” rule was universal. Apparently, this guy didn’t get the memo. I just hope he never finds this blog.

      Poor sap.

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