After one of my previous posts, dear reader, you may have gleaned that I have been dabbling in the online dating scene. I’m not sure if it was the waxing full moon, boredom, or just sheer curiousity that inclined me to create a profile on one of the online dating sites, but ever since, I either wince or laugh hysterically (sometimes a bit of both) every time I open my e-mail inbox. It helps that I started this with low expectations; I was just doing it for fun. What I wasn’t expecting is the barrage of attention I’ve received from men old enough to be my father and the earnest “wink” flirtations as well as cryptic e-mails that just say “Wanna talk?”. No.
The first guy who e-mailed me was one who caught my more positive attention. His profile seemed normal and his e-mails were interesting enough.
Then, last night, I met him.
Here’s how the conversation went (just as we were about to eat):
Mystery Date: I was in India for work.
Me: Really, interesting, how was that experience?
Mystery Date: I got food poisoning.
Mystery Date: I never knew food could go through you that fast. It was just like I ate (makes eating gesture) and then it flew right out.
Me (trying to remain composed while keeping visualization of this stranger’s excrement out of mind): So, other than that, what was it like?
Mystery Date: It was hot.
Mystery Date: I don’t really like to try new things.
I’ll spare you the rest since the conversation became much, much more painful.
Needless to say, this was not exactly a love connection and I’ll probably think twice before I go on another blindish date. However, though I wanted to down a bottle of Mezcal and curl into the fetal position shortly after the date, I also felt oddly content with my interesting little life in Dubuque. It’s reassuring to know that I can try something new and take a few worthwhile risks even if it means having the most awkward date to date!