My father and my not-so-evil step-mother visited Dubuque this weekend and as always, many delectable quotables could be heard throughout our wanderings. Since the first time I met her a few years ago, I’ve known my step-mother to be chipper, excitable, and hilariously foul-mouthed. What’s funny about her is that you never know when a string of curses might appear.
Since these two had already seen most of the Dubuque metro area, we expanded our ventures to the entire tri-state area (Iowa, Wisconsin, Illinois). I thought it would fun to go on a “Cheese Quest” through Southwestern Wisconsin and we had to stop in Galena, Illinois or, as I like to call it “trinket heaven” or “Stars Hollow: Part Deux”. The idea went over well since they share my affinity for fine cheeses and my step-mother adores animal-shaped lawn ornaments. They’re not my thing, but I was willing to acquiese.
Across the Mississippi we drove and we searched, and searched, and searched for a cheese shop. Finally we landed in Cuba City at Gile Cheese.
I love you, sharp cheddar. I love you.
From there we passed through Hazel Green, Wisconsin to Galena, Illinois. This is where our conversation about the town name began.
Step-mother: Why is it named Hazel Green?
Me: I have no idea.
Step-mother: There’s a historical marker over there. Pull over! Maybe we’ll find out.
Father pulls over and reads historical marker aloud. It has nothing to do with the town name.
Step-mother: We still don’t know who this bitch Hazel is!
Father: It might refer to the color.