“Who’s this bitch named Hazel?”: The family visits Dubuque.

My father and my not-so-evil step-mother visited Dubuque this weekend and as always, many delectable quotables could be heard throughout our wanderings. Since the first time I met her a few years ago, I’ve known my step-mother to be chipper, excitable, and hilariously foul-mouthed. What’s funny about her is that you never know when a string of curses might appear. 

Since these two had already seen most of the Dubuque metro area, we expanded our ventures to the entire tri-state area (Iowa, Wisconsin, Illinois). I thought it would fun to go on a “Cheese Quest” through Southwestern Wisconsin and we had to stop in Galena, Illinois or, as I like to call it “trinket heaven” or “Stars Hollow: Part Deux”. The idea went over well since they share my affinity for fine cheeses and my step-mother adores animal-shaped lawn ornaments. They’re not my thing, but I was willing to acquiese.

Across the Mississippi we drove and we searched, and searched, and searched for a cheese shop. Finally we landed in Cuba City at Gile Cheese.

I love you, sharp cheddar. I love you.

From there we passed through Hazel Green, Wisconsin to Galena, Illinois. This is where our conversation about the town name began.

Step-mother: Why is it named Hazel Green?

Me: I have no idea.

Step-mother: There’s a historical marker over there. Pull over! Maybe we’ll find out.

Father pulls over and reads historical marker aloud. It has nothing to do with the town name.

Step-mother: We still don’t know who this bitch Hazel is!

Father: It might refer to the color.

Step-mother: Huh?


About Restless Cube Dweller

Most of my adult life has been defined finding homes in unconventional places, and learning to interact positively with others. I've lived in the middle of nowhere, in small cities, in large cities, in the suburbs, and now in Dubuque, Iowa. This blog represents my musings about growing up, moving on, finding love, and eating well in the suburbs and beyond.
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