“Oh, you have a sore throat? Just a second, let me see if I have some vinegar, honey, and garlic for you to gargle!”
“Here, chew on this dandelion root while I melt some lard and kerosene to rub on your chest. You’ll have to stay away from heat of any kind for at least 36 hours, but it’ll clear out your sinuses in no time!”
“Wasp sting? Let me cut up an onion to put on your face!”
In case you are wondering that is the voice of my mom, the guru of home remedies. The quotes might seem slightly mocking, but it is pretty close to the truth. Every time I became ill as a kid, my mom would pull out her old Amish Country Home Remedies book and I would curl up in a ball screaming
“WHY CAN’T YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING NORMAL?”
Little did I know that she was on to something.
I have been thinking about this lately because while I was visiting my family I mentioned that I had been taking allergy medication non-stop for a few years. When I said this, my mom’s jaw dropped, “Are you sure that’s healthy?”
“Well, I feel okay,” I responded. “I tried to stop taking it and I felt awful, so I just keep taking it.”
Then I realized how terrible it sounded.
“Hi, my name is RCD (Restless Cube Dweller for you newbies), and I’m an allergy medicine addict. ”
When I returned home I did a little research and found that Zyrtec, the allergy medicine I’ve been taking for the past two years, is an addictive drug that causes some pretty severe withdrawal symptoms including all-over body itching and severe anxiety for some people. Those withdrawal symptoms last about two weeks.
So, ya’ll might want to steer clear of me for a while.
apparently, my mom was right about this stuff (You might want to print this off, Mom, as I do not admit this often).